Best Strategy to Control Plugin Usage

it seems to be a general question but no one has developed a strategy guide. It might be very clear for experienced users, but it is a very confusing subject -- I know I have spent hours and hours trial and error, and I still have no idea -- cause it seems to me that sometimes things work one way and the next time they work another way --- but it is probably because of the fog of confusion I have operated in ---

So All of You MU experts, in your opinion what is the best strategy for setting up plugins -- I am using Multisite plugin manager, pro-sites, mempership plugin ---

So what is the most effective way to use these three tools -- The goal is that the sub-sites only have access to the plugins that you want them to have access to ---

So do you suggest to network activate only those plugins that every site needs -- then control what shows up with the Multi-site management --- I have tried dozens of approaches and none of them seem to be working right --

So give me your strategies and why you do it that way ---