How to tweak the Upcoming Events widget?

I would like to modify the Upcoming Events widget.

1. For recurring events, I would like it to display only the next date -- not all of them.
2. I want to show the event title in h3 or h4 format (depending on which looks good).
3. I don't want a bulleted list, I don't think.

In other words, I want to know where that widget is and how I can tweak it to look the way I want.

Also to tell it not to show all upcoming dates, only the next one.

Is that possible?

Thanks

Jan Bear