[Hummingbird Pro] Hummingbird is broke. Repeat. Hummingbird is broke.

So my entire VPS went down. In fact, it started affecting neighboring VPS’s on my hosts system and they warned that if I didn’t get Hummingbird shut down on my sites that they would have to remove HTTP access to my account. SO… after 48 hours of almost constant work I have HUMMINGBIRD PRO removed from roughly 50 sites. My VPS Load usage went from almost 200% to 5%.
So… being a WPMUDEV fan I thought… surely it’s just that pesky Pre-Load thing the support guys from WPMUDEV told me about. I can re-install Hummingbird Pro on ONE site and see…
So I did… and my server usage went from 5% to 50% to 98% in roughly 5 minutes.
I can’t use Hummingbird Pro boys and girls… could someone please help me get a workable solution? I do NOT want to use WP Cache or WP Rocket… I pay YOU guys for YOUR plugins… I like the superhero thing anyway…
Help Me Obi Won Kenobi… you’re my only hope…