"Into the valley of Death called the Error 500"

Been hammering at this one for a while, a glimpse into the past can be seen. That well dried up and the cow did too. At this point, I do have a MySQL database backup, am I better off just nuking it from orbit and hoping wiping the entire WP install off the map and putting down a fresh one and hoping the the database backup restores my posts at this point? Or does anyone have any tricks? I'm no stranger to lo- CPanel, and for the majority of the time, it's never been one to let me down or make me cry, but we ARE getting into territory that's new to me, so when telling me to look at something, a brief run-down of where to look/what it is would be very helpful. I do my best to find out on my own, but it would save time.

But right now, I am Bugs Bunny.... hanging on the blown-up shattered rocky edge of a 'crescent moon', screaming into a radio to ground control, "GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

please?