membership ipn forwarder not respnding to 2checkout and paypal

now we are going to take it one step further..

i have another single install wp site
membership plugin installed and setup
added an entry to my ipn forwarder in my original mu intall
coupon works
paypal process payments go thru i see ipn history OK
( payapl account did not have funds so it is waiting for funds) ie pending
but in my membership there is no update to the member as if the user never paid no change in the membership
i tried to use 2checkout .. it take the funds and never sends ipn so no user in membership.
what could be a problem