messaging services all but one not working

I'm trying to select Buddybusiness theme, I hope this is it.

I think I did something stupid.
I upgraded buddypress last week and now all sorts of messaging services normally integrated in buddypress are not working anymore while we were supposed to go live today. I already have some members, so I can't just delete parts of the website.

Welcome pack message is not working
Only friends can send private messages evenwhile private messaging is enabled.
Sending a message to all users is impossible and also mass messaging is not working.

How do I undo this upgrade?