Server Requirements for 2 sites

Hello,

I have a question regarding what I need as far as server requirements for my set-up:

I have 2 sites:

http://sportsblognet.com
30,000 visitors/mo
WP Multisite - 1500 blogs (100-200 active, 20-50 accessed almost everyday by users, and 1 heavy site)
Multi-DB
Buddypress
Feedwordpress (200 rss feeds, fed into yahoo pipes and split into 30 feeds and fetched every 5 hours, onto main site)
Cforms
Anti-splog
Domain mapping
Supporter
Easy blogging

http://wineclubzone.com
Not Public Yet
WP 3.0
Buddypress
Auto-blog (45 feeds, fed once every 5 hours)
Cforms

My current set-up is with TMD Hosting, I pay $219/mo for a managed dedicated server with:

* Core2Duo Dual-Core 1.86 GHz
* 4MB Cache
* 6 GB DDR2 RAM
* 250 GB Drive
* 5 TB Monthly Bandwidth

* CentOS
* Fully Managed
* Total Control Panel
* cPanel/WHM Included
* SSH Access Included
* 5 IPs & 100 Mbps Uplink

But my server keeps peaking out according to TMD

1) The load was really, really high:

98.49 103.38 75.17

These three numbers indicated the system load average respectively now, in the past 10 and the past 15 minutes.

2) Primary processes causing this were children of the Apache web server, which speaks of high access rate of your website or/and a peak in this term:

5 S nobody 7718 9409 0 78 0 - 51573 - 23:35 ? 00:00:01 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
5 S nobody 7720 9409 0 76 0 - 51274 - 23:35 ? 00:00:01 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
5 S nobody 7721 9409 0 78 0 - 54232 - 23:35 ? 00:00:00 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
5 S nobody 7722 9409 0 78 0 - 51854 - 23:35 ? 00:00:01 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
5 S nobody 7730 9409 0 76 0 - 54166 322825 23:35 ? 00:00:00 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
5 S nobody 7732 9409 0 78 0 - 51272 - 23:35 ? 00:00:01 /usr/local/apache/bin/httpd -DSSL
(shortened version)

3) Last but not least, plenty of MySQL queries were stalled in processing:

+--------+---------------+-----------+-----------------+---------+------+----------------+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Id | User | Host | db | Command | Time | State | Info |
+--------+---------------+-----------+-----------------+---------+------+----------------+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| 504310 | leechprotect | localhost | leechprotect | Sleep | 6834 | | |
| 509810 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_c4 | Query | 1058 | Sorting result | SELECT post_modified_gmt FROM wp_1_posts WHERE post_status = 'publish' AND post_type = 'post' ORDER |
| 509826 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_c4 | Query | 929 | Sorting result | SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_1_posts.* FROM wp_1_posts WHERE 1=1 AND wp_1_posts.post_type = 'pos |
| 509827 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_c4 | Query | 1050 | Sorting result | SELECT post_modified_gmt FROM wp_1_posts WHERE post_status = 'publish' AND post_type = 'post' ORDER |
| 509829 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_c4 | Query | 968 | Sorting result | SELECT post_modified_gmt FROM wp_1_posts WHERE post_status = 'publish' AND post_type = 'post' ORDER |

| 510659 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 8 | Opening tables | SELECT * FROM wp_site |
| 510660 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_c4 | Query | 8 | closing tables | SELECT option_name, option_value FROM wp_1_options WHERE autoload = 'yes' |
| 510661 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 7 | Opening tables | SELECT meta_value FROM wp_sitemeta WHERE meta_key = 'wpmu_sitewide_plugins' AND site_id = 1 |
| 510662 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 11 | closing tables | SELECT blog_id FROM wp_domain_mapping WHERE domain = 'sportshow.sportsblognet.com' LIMIT 1 /* domain |
| 510663 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 8 | Opening tables | SELECT blog_id FROM wp_domain_mapping WHERE domain = 'realtimeyankees.com' LIMIT 1 /* domain mapping |
| 510664 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 3 | Opening tables | SELECT blog_id FROM wp_domain_mapping WHERE domain = 'sportsblognet.com' LIMIT 1 /* domain mapping * |
| 510665 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 1 | Opening tables | SELECT blog_id FROM wp_domain_mapping WHERE domain = 'sportsblognet.com' LIMIT 1 /* domain mapping * |
| 510666 | sbn_global | localhost | sbn_global | Query | 1 | Opening tables | SELECT blog_id FROM wp_domain_mapping WHERE domain = 'sportsblognet.com' LIMIT 1 /* domain mapping * |
| 510667 | root | localhost | | Query | 0 | | show processlist |
(shortened version)
+--------+---------------+-----------+-----------------+---------+------+----------------+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

They suggest upgrading to another server for the mysql

After carefully revising your case, our system engineers can suggest one or more of the following options:

1) Installing Memcached on your server -- this will enable memory caching on your server, but will also require an upgrade of the entire server to a model with more memory. This will cost you one time fee of $99.
2) Installing LiteSpeed on your server -- this will enable caching on the hard disk of the server, combined with pretty fast web server software, which does not require a server upgrade. This will cost you a monthly fee of $50 for the LiteSpeed licensing authority and a one time installation fee of $99.
3) Offloading the MySQL service on another server (ATOM presumably) -- this will speed quite the MySQL queries time, which respectively will result in faster page load times. This costs $159/month and there will be a one time $99 fee for setting up the offload of the SQL service.

Given the above facts and based on my personal experience in this area, I would suggest picking up options 2 and 3, which will surely boost the performance of your website up.

Any help is appreciated as unfortunately I am going off what they say is needed. Do I really need to offload mysql onto another server? or does anyone have another suggestion?