So I am building a site where the user's profile

So I am building a site where the user's profile is the main feature. (Think a dating site where profile and the profile fields are the most important)
I have narrowed it down to 2 plugins for this.

#1 - The first plugin offers great features such as a cool looking profile, ability to feature members, but lacks the privacy functions, such as followers, chat, messaging. I have to utilize separate plugins for events, directory, groups, etc.
#2 - The second plugin is more of a social networking plugin and while it does not look "as cool", it offers all the other features - privacy, followers, chat, messaging, events, groups, etc., however, it is a heavy load and my concern of performance is the main issue.

So my obvious question is...which option should I go with?
Thanks so much for any input. I am extremely torn and can't decide.

Anna