Where do I make adjustments in the Admin Menu and WP menu

I was wondering how to change my current theme to display like the way your demo does. http://themetastic.com/buddypress/?wptheme=Blogs%20MU, currently running the latest version of this theme (1.2.2) and I have the child theme setup.

I'm trying to remove some of the menu items at the top (admin bar and put it in the actual wp menu)

I created a new menu and made sure it was selected but this just seems to add to the existing Theme's Main menu navigation. How do I gain full control over the menus?